It seems so much of our lives are determined by achievements, with success being interwoven with wealth, career progression, status, material possessions and even marital status and procreation. We’re so very obsessed with ‘having it all’ or ‘being the best’ that we forget to give ourselves credit for enduring our own, unique journey; and so often measure our accomplishments based on outsider perceptions.
Comparisons have never been more rife – no thanks to social media – yet when we measure ourselves against others (who by the way are often using an entirely different metric), we set ourselves up to fail. As Michelle Obama wrote, Failure is a feeling long before it becomes an actual result, and there is nothing more destructive than feeling like we’re failing; at work, as a woman, at life.
If this resonates then please know that you are not failing. The snapshot of a good day on social media (both theirs and yours for that matter) is not where triumph lies, it’s in the everyday grind, the daily struggles, overcoming the nagging internal doubts and being true to yourself – striving to be your authentic version of happy.
As a woman of childbearing age, for me the feelings of failure I see so often in my peers and myself are centred around motherhood. From ‘negative’ pregnancy tests, ‘failed’ inductions, being ‘unable’ to breastfeed, ‘only’ working part-time or consciously choosing to be child’less’ for that matter. It is so incredibly easy to feel like we’re failing at something, all of the time.
Feelings of failure can penetrate every aspect of life, largely because society is telling us that we ‘should’ be doing or being something other than what we are. ‘You do you’ has never rung more true.
My final thought is when did accomplishments take precedence over what we’re overcoming? We are all dealt a different hand in life and simply cannot compare our situations – so why do we keep doing it? We should really be giving ourselves credit for the work we’re doing to endure the challenges thrown our way. The journey is surely our greatest achievement.
My clients come for Reflexology to help with physical symptoms – a knee pain here, sciatica there – but treatments also allow them to simply relax, just ‘be’, and also to offload if they want to. This is exactly why I wanted to become a Holistic Therapist; I recognised the link between physical and mental strife and I wanted to help people in the same way alternative therapies have helped me over the years. If you feel like a treatment session would help you then get in touch.